Dear [random person]... I Love You! #37
ERGENCY POST ///// EMERGENCY POST ///// EMERGENCY
HRRNK! Calamity! I was reaching the end of writing a long, fresh, new post when the computer suddenly had a seizure; it flashed, flickered and spazzed and the whole page just disappeared into some computer netherworld and all was lost! I mean, wtf? I’ve heard of it happening to ’other people’, but who knew it really happened? I can’t tell you how dispiriting it is; oh the agony of having to write the whole lot again from scratch…! Can’t face that right now, so I’m just going to dash off some old rubbish. Don’t worry, you won’t notice the difference.
CY POST ///// EMERGENCY POST ///// EMERGENCY POST
Dear nice looking brunette girl in the trashy city centre club last Saturday night, you tried to make a pass at my mate while but were so in the throes of THE DRINK that what you said was unintelligible, and then your sensible, more sober friend pulled you away. I love you.
Dear teenage, freakishly beautiful blondielocks walking around the supermarket with your mum, why did you have to keep gazing at me whenever we passed in the aisles? I’m too old for you, you know that? Plus, you are taller than me!! You must be about 6ft 2 or something! Ever thought of being a model, because with your height, slim build and angular cat-face you could so easily be one. But you’re too young, too tall and too beautiful to love me, and yet, and yet… I love you.
Dear identikit pony-tailed, blonde Stockholm women jogging around Djurgården, I wanted to bounce 10kr coins off your firm buttocks as you ran past where I sat. There’s so many of you, and you’re all so super-toned and healthy! As well as a bit fierce looking. I was happy just watching all your blonde pony tails bobbing about as you jogged by. You’re scary but I love you.
Dear the two student girls who get on my bus to work each morning, I love it when one of you brushes and then plaits the other’s hair. The care with which it is done makes me ever-so-slightly aroused each time. Thank you for not getting up early enough to do it at home, I love you.
Dear my [other] friend’s new girlfriend, I love you. No, not in that way, just that you are one of the kindest, sweetest people I’ve met and, naturally, have made my friend very happy. Plus you saved me from being killed to death by a tram while I was in the throes of THE DRINK, and was understanding when I was acting stupid. I’d like to find someone as nice as you plus u r cuet oh wellz. But your girl friends are also all gorgeous so yay!
:)
posted by Dielo at 10:58 am
6 Comments:
This cracked me up. Excellent post
Cheers
O
I agree. Fucking hilarious from crazed start to seemingly drunk finish.
"seemingly"
Well... glad I could raise a titter. If nothing else.
Thankyou both for stopping by.
¬Dxx
Ah, Dielo, your post has not vanished. She's playing hard to publish. If assured of a little more tweaking, she can be found waiting in a nondescript temporary file. Perhaps if you promise to push her subordinate clauses up over her predicate, she will agree to be the object of your desires.
Thank you for this delightful aperitif.
O Kochaniepaws, what a sweet way of describing a truculent post. No, but I'm afraid it really has gone - it's packed it's bags and got on the first email to nowherefile.
Nothing was saved. And yet... NOTHING OF VALUE WAS LOST!
What am I saying? It would probably have revolutionised the way we think, the way we blog and the way we must walk each day though this veil of tears.
Still, never mind, eh?
First time... I like the way you write and I admire your courage. You tell your secret fantasies with such ease and *innocence*... it's almost cute ^-^
um beijo da Maria
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