St Valentine's Day massacred?
Today’s chew: a predictable and familiar one - who killed the fun in St Valentine’s Day?It used to be a day for leaving an anonymous card to your secret crush (and maybe even receiving one. Or so I‘ve heard).
The mystery of it provoked excited speculation from the recipient, and a giddy rush for the giver, for having ’confessed’ their love to the object of their desire (albeit safely from behind the “From… ?” at the foot of the card). A bit of innocent lark, all told.
But now though…
I don’t really want to go into the whole ‘oh it’s just a big marketing exercise’ thing here - I mean, that’s already a given anyway - but is it me or is it actually getting bigger, this whole ‘must celebrate this special day’ pressure that’s increasingly put on couples. This has only resulted in the more smug pairings increasing the volume on their “LOOK AT OUR FANTASTIC LIFE TOGETHER” shrill ostentation, as well as making other couples feel further in competition with each other for who can come up with the most ’romantic’ gesture.
I don’t know how many otherwise happy couples end the day in a blazing row or in some black mood, but I’m guessing it’s more than most other days.
And all that garish pink crap that’s everywhere! It just piles up. Who really wants all that? Even those who don’t go in for the hearts and flowers thing are still left with the ‘what are we doing about V Day?’, ‘I don’t know what do you want to do?’ (x1000) conversation.
But the forced romantic gestures don’t seem to be confined to the couples anymore; when did it become de rigueur for office/etc workers to send cards and /or a flower to their fellow workers? Where I work we had someone go round the place handing out single roses to all the female employees (okay, I felt left out), and not only that but the women gave cards to each other (okay, I really did feel left out there) and bought in fairy cakes and what-not. What the hell’s going on? What is this day even about anymore?
I find St Valentine’s to be somewhat cringeworthy and embarrassing at the best of times, but at least I could ignore it if I was single (let us not speak of how the singleton is forced yearly into that feeling of having their nose pressed against the glass to the party which they weren’t invited to). For some reason or other though, this is the time of year when the world turns insipid pink and no-one is any longer allowed to escape.
Still, happy Valentine’s Day to any none-smug, cute, loved-up couples out there, and, most of all, to anyone wanting a bit of mystery to return to this day.
From… ?
XXX
posted by Dielo at 6:25 pm
6 Comments:
Dielo,
The pink confection that VD has become is a childish image of Real Love. Real Love does not travel solo, for It is accompanied by Real Disappointment and Real Pain. We rarely love another for his or her true nature. We love that person because we glimpse a reflection in his or her eye of what how we want to be. And disappointment and pain come in when we realize they chose us for the exact same reason -- for their happiness/self-image not ours.
Yes, I have worked with women who felt slighted when their husbands let VD pass without a card or flowers. Yes it was nice when my husband sent a huge bouquet of roses to my office and the staff lined up at my office door to look at it. To tell you the truth, it looked more like a floral tribute you'd send to a funeral, so I took it apart and made smaller arrangements of it.
Speaking as an older married woman, this is what true love is: working at a job you dislike so that you have the health insurance to pay for your husband's cancer operation. And when you no longer have that health insurance, you will sell your heirloom pocket watch to pay for your wife's prescription medicine. Those were the St. Valentine's Day gifts that my husband and I gave to one another over the recent years. They are not pink. They are blood red.
I hope that you will continue to write here, Dielo, for your fine prose is a treasure. But more than that, I hope that you will find a love who will offer you gifts, not of the palest pinks, but colored true blood red.
A blessing on your head, dear rogue.
Thank you, Kochainie, that was very touching, and very true. You put things into perspective better than I ever could.
Not only that, but your wise little contribution has lent weight to what was a, let's face it, somewhat frivolous post. So, that's good.
I should stay away from writing these kind of posts, actually. I'm quite bad at them. By request I shall commence with the usual filth.
Stick to what you know, that's what I've learnt.
Dielo,
Your post is not frivolous, but the hype of VD is. And you saw right through that.
Kochanie
Anyway...
Just to clarify, I'm not a grouchy cynic, the type who tells my other "don't think you're getting anything this Valentine's, I don't believe in that rubbish". No, I'll gladly put my hand in my pocket for a treat or two. I'm fine with that.
But the more I think about it the more I wonder what Valentine's Day has got to do with couples at all. For those that are already (supposedly) in love, what do they have need of a specified day to declare their love?
Okay, those long in long-term relationships might need a nudge every now and then but, as Kochanie as pointed out, real Real Love exists in the tiny massive things that aren't represented by chocolate boxes and pink ribbons.
Anyway...
Also deeply touched my Kochanie's blood red Valentine,
and yes ona frivolous note- Dielo, I was sitting in beer garden, lazily looking around recently, and I caught myself watching a lass at another table. Very fine features, elegant and with glossy dark hair done up in two braids across the back, Eastern European style. And not that I know you at all, but you popped into my head, and I imagined that she wold have made you purr. Just something about her- special.
Good work, Sabine!
I like this idea a lot - readers keeping an eye out for attractive women to bring to my attention. If you can, next time try and provide me with photographic evidence, email addresses, inside leg measurements, etc...
Thank you :)
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